But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
