Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize