I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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