im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
