how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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