when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
