i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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