I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
