i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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