i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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