So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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