I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
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