So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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