i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
