creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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