Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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