we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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