I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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