I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
