I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize