She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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