Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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