it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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