This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
