Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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