I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
