In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
