i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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