So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
