I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
