3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
