What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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