They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
