Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
