I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
