I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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