I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
