i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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