My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
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Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
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We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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