Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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