oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
