I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
