I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i barfeds in our rink
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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