exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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