party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
