Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
