forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
