I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
