i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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