i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
