nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
