kristin has been a bad kristin
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
