Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
