not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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