Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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