I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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