i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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