The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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