So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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