he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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