how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
