Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't deserve a penis
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
