Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My life is pants optional.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
