I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
