you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
