I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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